I like to challenge myself. Which means I also like to challenge my kids. I like to have them do hard things and celebrate their accomplishment with a fun reward. We went off sugar and treats for a year to go to Hawaii. We went off electronics for 2 months for another trip. You get the idea. Sometimes my kids will grumble about how other parents just take their kids on trips without making them do anything, but I think they secretly love it.
Recently I decided that I wanted our kids to have an opportunity to go on a cruise, so we had a family meeting and came up with possibly challenges to earn it. Everyone gave their input and we decided together that we would do a different challenge every week for eight weeks. The challenge for the first week was that everyone had to drink the smoothies I make everyday. Everyone drank them that week, even my child that really, really struggles with drinking smoothies. Our second challenge, this week, is that the kids have to make all the dinners.
It has been really neat to see my kids experience a sense of accomplishment and pride when they make dinner for the family all on their own. One of my daughters made a bean dip on Monday without anyone reminding her, the next was so excited that she knew how to make spaghetti on her night, the other one decided to tackle curry even though I wasn’t there to walk her through it, and last night my son went to the store and bought the ingredients so he could make meatball sandwiches (something I would never make)! He was so proud of himself for doing that, and even got his two youngest sisters to say he was a better cook than me.
You can’t get that feeling of accomplishment and pride unless you do something new or challenging. I’m afraid we prevent that far too often with our kids. There are so many reasons why, and I’m guilty of it frequently, so this reminder is as much for me as anyone else. Most of the time it is just easier and faster to do things ourselves. I’m reminded of when my toddlers wanted to do everything themselves and it took 4 times as long to let them. Kids are also messier when they are learning how to do things. Picture my daughter, who has loved to bake from a very young age, leaving baking evidence everywhere after whipping up cakes, cupcakes, and other treats . We also like to have things done “our” way. I experienced that a few hours ago when I was instructing 3 boys to make a corsage. I could’ve taken over and done it for them, which I kind of wanted to do because corsages should be pretty, or I could let them learn by making them theirselves. I let them make them. It was pretty neat to see 3 teenage boys arranging flowers for their dates, feeling a little insecure about their abilities, but also a little bit proud that they were making their own corsages.
Our kids, and ourselves, will gain confidence in their ability to do things when they have the opportunity to accomplish something. So try and step back. Let your kids do everything they are capable of. But don’t stop there, challenge them to do things that stretch them. Let them have those experiences where they do something they believed was impossible. Give them those opportunities to feel the confidence and pride that can only come from challenging themselves.
Work In Progress 