In high school, I had a close friend who spent a lot of time at my house. We never hung out at her house but I didn’t think much about it because I was just a young, dumb kid. It wasn’t until we were both married with several kids that I learned more about why things were the way they were back in high school. Her home wasn’t a great place to be. I don’t want to share details that aren’t mine to share, but she said she tried to spend as much time as possible at my house without becoming a nuisance or unwanted. She knew there would be peace, kindness, and food to eat.
I had no idea. I was her closest friend and I had absolutely no idea how bad and hard things really were for her. I had always thought there were things that were strange, but I never would have guessed the extant of the hardship she was experiencing.
Learning about her circumstances so many years later changed me. Knowing that my home was a refuge for her even when I didn’t know she needed one changed me. I thought, “If she was my best friend, and I didn’t have a clue about what she was going through, I can never assume that I know the people most in need of help.” I decided that I wanted my home to be a haven, a place of safety and refuge, for every single person that walked through my door. I couldn’t assume that I would know who truly needed a refuge from the difficulties in their life, so the safest thing to do would be to assume that everyone did. I could offer love, kindness, peace, acceptance, and welcome to everyone that came into my home.
I am not perfect at it-far from it. There have been a few times where it has been especially hard for me to offer those things to certain people. To be honest, there have been a few friends that have come over that have challenged me to be full of love when it is easier to be annoyed by them. Like I said, I’m far from perfect when it comes to offering this. But I don’t give up when it is hard. I found that if I keep seeking to have love for them, it comes. I can see their situations more clearly and find compassion for them.
My teenage son has friends that spend a great deal of time at our house, sometimes even when he isn’t here. This post was inspired because one of their moms just dropped off food at my house. She found out he ate lunch here just about everyday and wanted to contribute. She also expressed gratitude for being so kind and welcoming to him. I love this boy. I genuinely love all these teenage boys that have become a part of our family. I pray for them and want them to be happy, and I think they know that. I make an effort to talk with them whenever they are here. I know about their families, their jobs, their love lives, how things are going at school, etc. We’ve had a lot of good talks over the last couple of years. They have challenges like everyone that I wish I could fix. But I can’t. Just like I couldn’t fix the circumstances of my best friend in high school. But I can offer my home as a haven for them. I can let them find refuge here. I can help them know that they matter, that they are loved, and that there is always a place for them to come.
This mortal experience isn’t always easy, and you never know who might be seeking refuge from their personal (and sometimes hidden) storm, but you can make a difference when you decide to make your home a haven for all everyone who comes through your door.
Work In Progress 