This Sounds Like a Problem You Can Solve

I’m pretty sure it was my sister who told me about some parenting advice for kids.  It involves using the line, “This sounds like a problem you can solve,” as much as possible.  When two kids are fighting over a toy and they run to you screaming about it, simply tell them it sounds like a problem they can solve.  You can help them brainstorm solutions if needed, but they should be the one to decide on the solution.   When your son says he won’t be able to get a ride home from school without his phone (that you took away because of grades with a warning over a week before), just say, “This sounds like a problem you can solve.”  When your daughter is complaining about not having anything to put in her lunch….you guessed it…. “This sounds like a problem you can solve.

We as adults need this reminder for ourselves! I was thinking about it the other night when a friend and her husband were talking about something difficult in their life.  They seemed to have adopted a defeatist attitude, and I was having a hard time with that.  This problem was affecting so many areas of their lives, and they were making it seem like there was nothing they could do about it.  There were SO many things they could do about it!  There were several solutions I thought of in a couple minutes they could try, but it seemed as though they had thrown their hands in the air and said, “There’s nothing we can do but miserably endure!”  Their problem was a complicated one, and it would probably require a lot of trial and error until they found a solution that worked, so I can understand how they felt frustrated and hopeless……but NOT trying to solve the problem was a guarantee that it would never get better!

We have so much power.  So much.  Yet we give it all away the second we believe there is nothing we can do.  When we use words like “impossible,” “I wish,” “someday,” “I hope,” “if only,”…….we take our ability to change our circumstances out of the equation.  We are the ones that are in control of our lives.  We get to decide what we do and when.  We decide what we tolerate and what we don’t.  We decide how we respond.

Whatever you want in your life, YOU have to make it happen.  You’re the only one that can.  So when you find yourself feeling stuck, like there is nothing you can do, remember, “This sounds like a problem you can solve.”