I’m not exactly sure how to write this post because I want to protect another person’s privacy. I was supposed to pick someone up for a counseling appointment. This person is striving to heal in so many areas of their life, and they are just at the beginning of seeking help. This person had contacted me last week confirming the appointment so they wouldn’t schedule work at the same time. They were serious about working on their healing. Then they had a horrible weekend. Some devastating things happened. Some very hurtful actions were directed toward them, and while this was happening, almost all of their family was out of town. They were essentially trying to cope with it on their own.
I showed up this morning to get them, and they were in bed, not dressed, barely responding. I was gentle and calm. They asked if we could reschedule. I said we could, but we would probably still have to pay for this one. I told them that was okay, that I loved them, and that I hoped they would feel better. They closed their eyes without really responding and I thought they fell asleep. I went upstairs, texted the counselor to let them know we wouldn’t be coming in for the appointment, and started a conversation with someone else. About 10 minutes later, the person who had the appointment came upstairs and asked if it was too late to go. We were 20 minutes late, but they went, even though it was the last thing they wanted to do. I know it took every ounce of power they had in them to get out of bed, put their clothes on, and go to their counseling appointment.
I could have gone down angry. I knew I could have yelled or made them feel guilty in order to get them to go. I could have talked about how they were wasting my time or my money. I knew when I was down in that room that I could manipulate them into going. But I knew it wasn’t the right thing to do. They needed to go for themselves. Not for me. I acted in love and understanding, but not because I thought that would make them go. I honestly couldn’t have been more surprised when they came upstairs and asked if it was too late.
Good things happen when we aren’t trying to coerce people into doing things.
Work In Progress 