This past weekend, our church held a conference. There were 5 five sessions, 2 hours in length, and we were able to watch it at home. Leaders of the church gave talks and there was beautiful music. Many members of the church watch the sessions with family or friends. The women’s session especially, for girls and women 8 years old and up, is traditionally a time where extended family or friends will get together. People will often go out to dinner beforehand or gather after the session is over to talk while eating yummy food.
This year, I reached out to a few of my sister-in-laws and asked them if they wanted to get together for the women’s session. Two of them were quick to say yes and one didn’t respond. We had a great time getting some take out, watching the session, and then hanging out talking while eating fondue.
It never fails to amaze me how eager people are for social connection, and yet how infrequently they will initiate it. We want to go to lunch with other women, or meet up at the park, or go to dinner with another couple, or watch women’s conference together. But most of the time, we sit around waiting for someone else to invite us to do those things. My husband and I are constantly asking couples to go out to dinner. We think it is such a good way to connect with other people and establish better relationships. We’ve asked so many couples out over the years, yet I come up blank when I try to think of someone who has invited US to dinner. There’s a chance that they invite other couples to hang out, that there is something unappealing about US in particular that prevents an invitation…..but I don’t think that is why. Most people happily accept invitations to socialize, but there are usually only a select few that will issue invitations. It can be scary and feel vulnerable. Just like dating as a teenager, there is a chance that you will be rejected. Remember the sister-in-laws that I invited, one of them didn’t even respond! If I wasn’t careful, I could be hurt by that and feel rejected.
We can all sit back and wait for invitations to come our way. We will be protected from vulnerability and possible rejection if we do. It is safer and easier.
But wouldn’t the world be a lot less lonely if we just decided to be the one that issues invitations instead of waiting for them?
Be brave. Extend an invitation.
Work In Progress 