Respect

I went to court yesterday with a loved one to offer love and support.  It was my first time being in court and seeing what it was like.  It broke my heart and renewed my faith in humanity all at the same time.  It was so painful to watch these people who were there.  You could tell they felt so ashamed and kind of worthless.  They wouldn’t look anyone in the eye.  They kept their heads down.  And it wasn’t hard to understand why.  How would any of us feel if we were made to stand up in a room full of strangers while someone described in detail some of our worst mistakes? It was painful to watch.  I tried to smile with love and compassion in my eyes as each of them walked out, but most of them never saw it because they left with their heads down and their eyes on the floor.  It broke my heart.  All of us make mistakes, but none of us need to feel like our worth is defined by them.

Something else also made me want to cry, but in a good way- the judge.  Here was a man who sat in a room day after day listening to a litany of crimes committed by people he didn’t know (unless they were repeat offenders).  It was his job to determine the consequence of their actions.  I guess I assumed that doing that day after day would leave him calloused or hardened.  My expectation of his behavior and demeanor couldn’t have been further from the truth.  He greeted each person with respect and treated them with dignity.  He tried to find humor to lighten the heaviness and anxiety that was palpable in the room.  He tried to show leniency and make things easier for them if he could.  It was honestly an incredible thing to witness.  I couldn’t help but wonder how different life would be for all of these people who had committed crimes if everyone who interacted with them treated them with the same kind of respect, love, compassion, and encouragement as this judge did.  It inspired me and made me want to be more aware of the way I treat those who are feeling ashamed and struggle to believe that their past mistakes don’t determine their value.