Life is Hard

The other day I had a conversation with a friend about life being hard.  We were discussing someone that was in a less than ideal situation, and how hard it would be for her to get out of it.  It would mean breaking relationship habits with two people in her family.  Ending patterns of interacting that had been going on for years.  Dealing with the anger and frustration and negativity that would come if she made changes in the way she interacted with these two family members.  Our hearts were both filled with compassion at how incredibly hard that kind of change would be.  I wondered if she would be strong enough to do it.  Quite honestly, I wondered if I would be strong enough if I were in her shoes.

Later that night, I just kept thinking about how hard it would be for her to make those changes.  Then it dawned on me that her life was already hard.  Exactly as it was right at that moment.  Her life was hard without trying to make any changes.  No matter what, for the next little bit into the future, her life was going to be hard.

But….there were two separate paths she could take.  While they would both be hard initially, they would lead to very different outcomes.  She could continue to interact with her family members the way she always had, not making any of the difficult changes and not having to deal with their reaction to changes in her behavior.  And it would be hard just like it has been for the last several years.  It would be hard, and it would continue to be hard day after day after day.  She knows that path, she is familiar with it, and she knows exactly where it leads: to suffering, discouragement, depression, fear, and unhappiness.  It would be hard, but it would also be familiar and predictable.

What about the other path though? What would happen if she made changes in the way she interacted with her family members?  It would be hard.  It would require strength, and courage, and determination.  It would require her to endure their negative reactions.  It would be extremely hard…..initially.  But where would it lead?  Almost certainly, it would lead to peace, joy, hope, and a better life in the future.

Our lives are going to be hard.  They just are.  But we get to decide which hard path we will walk down.  We get to decide where we are heading.  We can choose the hard path  that has resulted from our past decisions, circumstances, etc. or we can actively choose the hard path that will lead to better things.  But there isn’t an option of an easy path.  Life is hard no matter which path we walk.  But we get to choose.  We get to decide if we are going to walk the hard path that is familiar, yet leads to a dead end that grows increasing dark…..or we can walk a different hard path, in unknown territory that could lead us to great places full of light and beauty.

The choice is ours.  The path is ours.  No one can walk it for us.